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| A Wonderful Collection of Yoga Jokes! (credit is given where credit is due)
Q. What did the yogi say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game? After the man received his sandwich, he gave the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor just smiled. The Q. What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? Q. How many Iyengar yogis does it take to replace a light bulb? BUT, they will need: Q. What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say? Q. Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth removed? The Lone Bat Meditation Knock knock Gifts -- A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally. Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead." --author unknown Yoga police: "You have the right to remain silent!" Kundalini Yogi sharpshooter: "Ready, aim, fire!" Don't just do something -- Sit there! Time is the best teacher, although it kills the students. My karma ran over my dogma.... Elbert Hubbard: "We are punished by our sins, not for them." When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied "I wish no gifts, only presence" Some people talk about finding God, as if He or She could get lost. Q: What do yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common? Q: How many contemplative monks does it take to change a light bulb? In yoga, it's just one thing after another -- breath, breath, breath Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb? "I think it would be a good idea." The enlightened ones have no boundaries, but respect those of others. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. Lily Tomlin: "Why is it when we talk to God, we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?" Three Yogis are doing meditative in a remote cave. One day a sound is heard from outside the cave. After about six months, one of the yogis says, "Did you hear that goat?" Once again, there was silence. About a year later, one of the other Yogis says, "That wasn't a goat; it was a mule." Again, there was silence. About two years later the third yogi says, "If you two don't stop arguing, I'm leaving." Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. --previous from http://swamij.com/jokes.htm. Bumper Stickers: Never drive faster than your angel can fly!!" "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear." Meditation - You have the right to remain silent.
Did you hear about the yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth. When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine. The yogi said "No. I can transcend dental medication." When two psychic friends met, one said: Four monks were meditating in a monastery. All of a sudden the prayer flag on the roof started flapping. The younger monk came out of his meditation and said: "Flag is flapping" An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him: You can stay here but we have one important rule - all students observe Mouna or vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years. After practicing for 12 long years Yoga Asanas, Meditation, a lot of Karma Yoga, etc., the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question. How do you make God laugh? -- |